I swear I'm not abused...
How is that I always manage to find myself covered in phantom bruises and scratches. My legs and arms always seem to be scattered with battle scars, but let me tell you, my life is everything but a struggle. So where do all these wounds come from? Am I really that clumsy that I haphazardly walk into walls and other stationary items? Do I drink that much that I have no recollection of being victim of my own clumsy fashion? Or perhaps I’m not as genetically well off as most the human race is, and I’m just super sensitive.
I’m going to hope it’s the last in the series that takes the cake.